Monthly Archives: May 2013

No, I’m Not Dead

…though you may well have thought that, if your only interaction with me is in reading this blog. I started an unpaid work placement at a local charity last week (I’m actually writing this from my very own temporary office, which is obviously an invaluable use of apparently worthless time) and it’s 5 days a week, more or less 9 to 5, so I’ve got a better excuse than usual not be posting on here.

Thing is, I kind of miss it.

Not “miss” it in the usual sense – i.e. feeling guiltier and guiltier every day I don’t put something up – but in the sense that I’m not giving myself the chance to clean house in my own head and stretch my writing calves on a regular basis, which is pretty much the entire reason we’re still here. And I actually enjoy writing these when I do trick myself into starting a new post, despite everything the last six months may have illustrated.

Not that I’ve been doing bupkes, you understand: I haven’t been linking to the last couple of posts, but I’ve continued that weekly comics review column on Nerdly with Jack Kirby (Panel Discussion #006, in which Jack and I couldn’t agree less on The Dream Merchant and Panel Discussion #007, in which I gush lovingly about Young Avengers The Unwritten and rant for a couple hundred words about how disappointingly mediocre Avengers is) along with reviews of re-released oddities like The Stone Tape.

So, you know, that’s something. The other writing I really ought to be doing is getting done, though each project kind of dovetails into another without the former actually getting 100% finished, which is probably my worst habit (well, apart from being terrible, but I try not to focus on the negative). As of this moment I owe 1 of 2 I Am Tim first drafts to deliver, a short film draft, a punch-up rewrite on someone else’s short, a kind-of-infotainment-film, an outline for a new feature and the planning of the next draft of Scars to finish.

…That seems like a lot when I write it down, but I’m pretty sure the moment I finish it all (ha!) it won’t feel like I’ve done much of anything and that I’ve been incredibly lazy of late.

So I guess that means I’ll be blogging more often? I don’t really know how I got there. I wrote this post in two halves ’cause I didn’t want to get caught using work time for meandering nonsense.


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The Best Search Terms Ever #1

Courtesy of a somewhat dyslexic Game of Thrones fan looking for some hot, heartily amusing Peter Dinklage porn:

humorous fanstay sexy stories -videos

…I assume. I can say with absolute certainty however, that they will have been incredibly disappointed.

Unless my Tyrion/Ned Stark’s Headless Corpse slashfic has already been posted.

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Such Small Portions

Some small part inside me dies whenever I’m faced with an open question on a job application form. The reasons are twofold…and, naturally, utterly contradictory:

1. It means I have to actually expend effort and brainpower in order to be within a chance of getting a gig which in all likelihood requires neither.

2. There’s not nearly enough space  to write everything I want to.

I guess it’s my version of the Annie Hall joke about two old women sat in a restaurant:

“Boy, the food here is really terrible.”

“I know, and such small portions!”

Man, I Get Sent Some Bad Films

El Mariachi has a lot to answer for. As does Clerks. Both were made in the early ‘90s on incredibly low budgets ($9,000 and $30,000 respectively; Clerks filmmaker Kevin Smith famously maxed out all of his credit cards to finance the film) and achieved previously unheard-of success from new directors, as supposedly ‘independent’ film budgets of that era – like those of Reservoir Dogs and Sex, Lies and Videotape – came in at around the $1million mark. This helped to kick-start guerrilla movements and independent movies proper, and surely had some impact on bringing us to our crowdfunded present, where dead TV shows can be resurrected by the cash of fans and a boatload of promises. It also sent an unfortunate if optimistic message to the general populace of the world:

We made a feature film with no money. Why don’t you?

From my The Fallow Field review on Nerdly.

It is, as I’m sure you’ve gathered, atrocious. It’d make a great birthday present.

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Street Farts


Hoo boy, those days after the nights you don’t sleep sure are doozies. Today’s involved a resurgence in productivity, an unexpected reconnection and a renewed lust for creativity and Making Good Things. Guess you can still accomplish a whole bunch even when your body’s telling you it’s not planning on standing up properly for the next ten hours.

The above image is part of some street art project I discovered attached to a bridge next to a description of the project and a qr code linking to a site. I’m not saying I particularly like the piece all that much, rather that I just think it’s better found in isolation and its sister productions discovered accidentally so that you can start to make your own connections other than what the artist wants us to see.

I dunno. Maybe the others are really good. It’s hard to tell whether this one is right now in my current state. All I know is I tried peanut-flavoured ice cream from Licc, the best place in York, and it was all kinds of awesome.

Damn, I’m tired.

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Tex Mex 2: Electric Boogaloo

Finding out I do my best movie reviews in a veritably groggy state between 4 & 5 am may not have been the best thing for my physical health, but it did produce this gem regarding Thai horror-bore My Ex 2: Haunted Lover:

For posterity’s sake, the story – although I’m sure you’ve heard this one before – concerns a vacuous young actress being told by her vacuous (yet hateful) friends to dump her smug, vacuous, cheating boyfriend, but she’s just too “nice” (read: totally without backbone, dimensionality or anything resembling a personality) to flip him the bird.

Sounds right up your alley, I’m certain. The editor/owner of Nerdly said my review made him laugh “a lot”, which I think is pretty good praise. You can check it out here if you’ve got a couple minutes or brain cells to kill.

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Save Points

So I’m pretty close to finishing Bioshock Infinite and this song has taken up a good chunk of my brain. {SPOILER}, as you well know, is the reason why:

There’s also this, because we were filming an episode of Nights at the Round Table last night and the cast & crew are a bunch of great big nerds and hum at least 400% more than normal humans:

Ah hell, this got thrown in there as well just because we were on a run of old game music. I just played it in my head though because if I’d have acknowledged it out loud I may have started weeping salty tears of nostalgia:

And damn it if I don’t love a good cry at pixel-related piano.


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