A List Of Terrible, Terrible Things

Since moving home, I have:

– Breakfast and dinner cooked for me daily, gratis;

– Tea practically on tap;

– Rent-free lodging;

– Not one, but TWO seemingly bottomless freezers full of real, delicious and branded food;

– A bedroom wall I can stick pins in without fear of landlord-shaped reprisals;

– Sky+;

– Flashbacks to my life three years ago when all I did was sit at mates’ houses ordering pizza, playing videogames and watching Buffy and Angel;

– Excruciatingly uncomfortable encounters with former friends and acquaintances;

– Practically no incentive to get any work done or look for a job.


I need to get out of this town as soon as humanly possible.


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